Possibly The Best Spam Ever

I got a fantastic spam today. It was one of those "buy this stock now!" spams, and it was fairly well done to get past the filter at UNO, which usually stops, well, everything. Even my real mail.

Anyway, the choice lines were the openers: "We live in a time of unthinkable technologies such as self-cooled beer, artificial retinas of the eye, full automated plants. All these open modern methods of saving and transfering of energy."

Holy cow! Self-cooled beer! Thats, unthinkable, impossible, a feat that soars above and beyond such simple bionic augmentation like artificial retinas. And don't even get me started on "full automated plants", thats just too cutting edge for me.

So what was all this dazzling technology a lead in for? Batteries that never need charging. The madness! A revolutionary zero-point energy source, and I can get in on the ground floor! "AC Energy's Technology "The battery that never needs to be charged" could work in cell phones, laptops, music players or any other portable device."

As I neared the end of the email, I was beginning to think that this was perhaps a hoax or something. There was simply no way that this could be real, and good things like getting an offer like this never happen to me. But wait, there it was, my reassurance: It's not some kind of story or something like this, we provide you with 100% information. Energy is our future, don't waste time. I'm glad they included that in the email, or I might not have spent all my money on AC Energy stocks.

Thats all for now, but I'll see you in the never-need-to-charge-your-cell-phone future. I'll be the one looking at you with my artificial retina while pouring my self-cooling beer into a nearby automated plant.